Ahh... aren't the lyrics poetic? And the song so nice too! (Maybe my BF will find this to be her style, so BF's bf take note.=P) Anyway, it reminded me that in many things of life, I have just been hopping within the small circle of my comfort zone.

One of them is love, I think. I have always been saying that I want to be cautious and careful and sure before initiating a relationship, but maybe the reason I don't feel like starting one even up till now, is maybe I'm afraid of it ending up being spoilt and there goes one beautiful dream crushed into pieces. I look at people with lovely families, and maybe yes, my thoughts echoes with the song... 'love is only for the lucky and strong'. And there are many flaws in my character that makes it not that compatible for a relationship.

My idea of a perfect relationship... as depicted in Little Women, or Jane Eyre, or classics like that... and knowing that I fall short of many qualities a good life partner should possess, I guess I would never try to be involved in any relationship for the time-being, because I'm not ready. But I suppose if I'm sticking within this comfort zone forever and refusing to change myself, or prepare myself for change, then I would never be ready.

I'm still not ready. Yet.

Also, love is not the only thing. Even piano playing is. I'm always sticking to one particular style, one particular type of songs. When someone brings up harder pieces, I say, no, I can't, because I'm not used to playing with scores any more.

I wish I was back to the days when I was more adventurous with my playing, to be more willing to try out new styles, new methods and chords, instead of sticking rigidly to the one and only classical style I know. In fact if not for Wing Mei I would not have known that I could play certain songs in the Phantom of the Opera, because I was too afraid to try for fearing it will not sound nice, till she insisted.

There are so many things I could do, if I could just walk out of my comfort zone and do it. And in terms of piano playing I wish I would just be more courageous and take in more, so that I could give out more. That's why I enjoy my individual piano therapies the most; it is the time when I can be more of myself and just play anything that comes to mind, and the expression flows out more (provided no people are around).

And... academics. Sometimes I know there is no need to wonder why other people are performing better than I am. These people take the initiative to learn... instead of just sitting there absorbing facts and stuff like that... not afraid to spend extra time, not afraid to fail. For me, it's the lazy attitude of - oh I don't understand this, just move on. How can one learn like this?

Oh, I just realized that I would have had so much potential in me, to live, to excel and to serve, if and only if, I learn to step out of my comfort zone and let myself change.

In some things there is still a need to be cautious, but in others, to learn to fly, Perhaps one of the reasons that hold me back is, I know that for every successful story told of those who were successful because they tried, there were many other untold ones of failure. But still, we learn from our failures. And to even have a chance of changing myself, no matter what, I need to take a step of faith, jump off the cliff to spread my wings and glide.

And I am comforted by the thought that He who holds me up will watch over me, if I change according to His will. I want to change for the better.